Purging Empty Words

No More Empty Calories

From the Los Angeles Times article Bellying up to Kentucky Fried Chicken's double down. (2009). KFC's Double Down [Photograph]. Retrieved from http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/dailydish/2009/08/bellying-up-to-kfcs-double-down-.html

Finally, we can be more concise by purging empty words. Many of the phrases we use contain words that are expendable. Some of these words include: case, degree, the fact that, factor, instance, nature, and quality. 

The following sentences will show you how you can rid of empty words to make your writing more concise:

In the case of WestJet, the airline improved its in-flight services.

Notice how much better the following sentences sound when we remove all the empty words:

In the case of Maclean’s, the newspaper improved its readability.

Because of the degree of active participation by our sales reps, profits soared.

We are aware of the fact that many managers need assistance.

Except for the instance of Toyota, Japanese Imports sagged.

She chose a career in a field that was analytical in nature. (Or, she chose a career in an analytical field.)

Student writing in that class is excellent in quality.

Avoid stating the obvious; the following sentences are great examples:

When it arrived, I cashed your cheque immediately.

We need printer cartridges; therefore, please send me two dozen laser cartridges.

Clauses that begin with that, which, and who can be shortened without loss of clarity. Such phrases can be reduced to a single adjective or adverb, such as apparently.

Changing the name of a ^successful company that is successful is always risky.

All employees who are among those completing the course will be reimbursed.

Our ^final proposal which was slightly altered in its final form, won approval.

We plan to schedule ^weekly meetings on a weekly basis.

Reference:

Guffey, M.E., Rhodes, K., & Rogin, P. (2008).  In A. Williams (Ed.), Writing Process Phase 3: Revise, Proofread, Evaluate. Business Communication:  Process and Product, Sixth Canadian Edition (pp. 175-181). Toronto, Ontario: Nelson Education Ltd.