Deleting Long Lead-Ins

Get to the Point!

Deleting unnecessary introductory words is imperative if you want your writing to be more concise. The "meat" of the sentence usually comes after the words that and because. Long lead-ins do not contribute to the effectiveness of your writing and often state the obvious. 

Here is an example of how you can eliminate long lead-ins:

Wordy: 

     I am sending this message to inform all of you that our new store hours are now 10:00a.m to 8:00p.m. 

Concise: 

     Our new store hours are 10:00a.m to 8:00p.m.

By getting to the point, you are able to keep the reader engaged and important information is picked up quicker.

Reference:

Guffey, M.E., Rhodes, K., & Rogin, P. (2008).  In A. Williams (Ed.), Writing Process Phase 3: Revise, Proofread, Evaluate. Business Communication:  Process and Product, Sixth Canadian Edition (pp. 175-181). Toronto, Ontario: Nelson Education Ltd.